Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Swarms of Bees and Other Excuses

So, I believe that I signed off well over a month ago with the statement, "See ya in two weeks!"

"Liar!" You say.  "It's been more like five weeks!"

Okay, okay, okay.  Well, you see, uh ... there was an earthquake while I was at the beach which I briefly blamed on the rum I had been drinking ... and that was followed by evacuating the Jersey Shore because of a hurricane ... actually, there were two hurricanes, one blew out the electricity and one flooded so bad, the schools were closed.  Yeah and speaking of school, the paperwork to be filled out in triplicate caused massive hand cramps for days.  And, my twin son needed glasses and possibly his adenoids out ... but then, he didn't need an operation after all ... instead we came home with a ninety dollar x-ray thanks to something called co-pay. And what else?

"Excuses, excuses," you say.

Oh, yeah .  Look at this:

Here we are in Cape May, NJ on the actual vacation.  Please note my husband and his facial features before scrolling to the next picture.

I took this picture after a swarm of yellow jackets (yes, he's allergic) took out their anger issues on my husband and his riding mower.  (The mower fared much better ... not even a flat tire.)


So, first, as a man who fears shots like Indiana Jones fears snakes, (honestly, Epi-pen equals kryptonite in my husband's world), he thought he'd ice his inflating face down with a beer.  When that didn't work, he defiantly left for the nearby medical clinic.  An hour later, I get a phone call from an aggravated, out-of-breath nurse.  "Mrs. Fryer, come pick up your husband.  We gave him two shots in either arm.  And then, he passed out on top of me.  We called 911 (that would be 3 ambulances and a fire truck) and he refused to go to the hospital.  He's all yours now!"

Well, I did recover from this whole incident after several strong drinks.  Thanks for asking.  Oh, my husband?  Yeah, he's fine ... all deflated and recovered.  And now, as door prizes, we own our very own Epi-pen, plus some very strong pain relievers!

So, yeah I've been away longer than I wanted.  But, really, look at the month I've had.

I know.  I know.  Excuses.  Excuses.

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See ya in a week.  No, really, I mean it this time.